ENTERTAINMENT CELEBRITY MEDIA COMEDY MUSIC TV CELEBRITY KIDS MOVIEFONE Michael Giltz Freelance writerGET UPDATES FROM MICHAEL GILTZ Follow Video , Kim Cattrall , Noel Coward , Paul Gross , Broadway , Comedy , Entertainment News 1 1 0 1React Inspiring Funny Hot Scary Outrageous Amazing Weird CrazyTheater: Kim Cattrall Conquers Coward In "Private Lives" PRIVATE LIVES ** out of **** MUSIC BOX THEATRE Are you in the mood for a bit of bubbly? Champagne is always flowing in the world of Noel Coward and it's on tap at this modest revival of Private Lives .</p><p> The show has been on Broadway eight times now, starting in 1931,with Coward and Gertrude Lawrence followed by the likes of Tallulah Bankhead, Brian Bedford, Maggie Smith, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor (and JohnCullum), Joan Collins and most recently in 2002 with Alan Rickman and Lindsay Duncan in a production that notably went for a deeper emotional truth underlyingthe flippant one-liners.</p><p> None of those starry figures ever turned Private Lives into a hit here after Coward (who hated long runs); the longest run after his was only seven months. (Even Burton and Taylor only lasted two months;) Thattrack record will probably continue with Kim Cattrall and Paul Gross though with six tries and counting one is tempted to blame the play.</p><p> It certainly seems like a winning proposition: Elyot (Gross, square-jawed and amusing) is on his honeymoon though his bride will keep bringing up Elyot's first wife, the tempestuous Amanda.</p><p> Bad form.</p><p> They chat merrily away on the balcony of their hotel.</p><p> Soon enough, they go back inside and Amanda popsup on the balcony next door.</p><p> She's on her honeymoon and darn if her husband can't stop bringing upAmanda's battling spouse Elyot.</p><p> So tiresome.</p><p> We immediately suss that these are not matches made in EDITION: U.S.</p><p> November 24, 2011 How Daniel Radcliffe Almost Lost The Harry Potter Role Thomas Jane Is Angry! Hollywood Powerhouse ComparesMichelle Williams & Marilyn Monroe Like 63 Posted: 11/19/11 12:59 PM ET SHARE THIS STORY Submit this storyGet Entertainment Alerts Sign Up PHOTO GALLERIESCONNECT FRONT PAGE POLITICS BUSINESS ENTERTAINMENT TECH MEDIA LIFE & STYLE CULTURE COMEDY HEALTHY LIVING WOMEN LOCAL MORELike 51KRihanna Movies Television The Oscars Game Changers 2011 More Log inheaven and to Coward's credit, he wastes no time in having Amanda and Elyot fall madly in love all over again (or rather admit they never stopped loving each other) and soon determining to dump the othertwo.</p><p> And if they're spotted, why they'll run like stags.</p><p> Acts two and three take place in Amanda's apartment in Paris where she and Elyot are blissfully happywhen not battling like harpies.</p><p> Of course, their respective spouses tiresomely show up and fireworks ensue.</p><p> Though the show never catches fire, the blame does not lie with the cast.</p><p> Cattrall first appeared on Broadway in 1986 in a Chekhov play adapted by Michael Frayn starring Ian McKellen and Kate Burton,but she's really been a strong presence in London.</p><p> She and Gross trade their quips nicely and it should be much funnier than it is.</p><p> Simon Paisley Day and especially Anna Madeley are also fine as the simpering, unhappy also-rans, with Madeley having some fun with Sybil's rather pointed little rejoinders whichcontinually seem surprising for such a meek seeming girl.</p><p> But the bubbly is flat.</p><p> First, the intermission takes place after the brief first act for logistical reasons (they need to take down the rail for that balcony).</p><p> The show feels like it's barely begun at that stage and the momentum grinds to a halt.</p><p> Director Richard Eyre has everyone on the same page -- they're all in a light frothy comedy -- but the pacing is off.</p><p> Everything moves too slowly and the banter is off.</p><p> We should bewatching two people who love to argue almost as much as they love each other.</p><p> You should never doubtthat Amanda and Elyot are fated for each other and their every argument should amuse because we just know it's their way.</p><p> Instead, I kept wondering if they really do belong together.</p><p> Further, the set and costumes by Rob Howell are unfortunate.</p><p> It's hard to make Gross look anything less than dashing, but his pajamas aren't as sexy as they should be.</p><p> And Amanda's apartment is a fever dream.</p><p> Clearly striving for something other than merely sleek and fashionable, Howell went for eccentric.The walls are filled with bizarre paintings of ducks floating on a pond with fish below.</p><p> A giant awkwardfish tank composed of three massive bowls lurks in one corner.</p><p> Two tiny little bed/couches appropriate perhaps for a small dog sit in each corner.</p><p> The actors seem stranded in the midst of this large, cavernous and unattractive rom.</p><p> Numerous odd details in the lights and fixtures and windows just distract the eyeand keep you wondering exactly what sort of woman would live in a place like this.</p><p> Elyot really mightreconsider after seeing Amanda's taste.</p><p> The set is as close to disastrous as the show gets, but at least it was striving for something distinctive.</p><p> The rest of the play is merely companionable and mild.</p><p> Eyre of course has an illustrious record as a director.</p><p> So perhaps we should blame Coward.</p><p> HIs star vehicle may be just that.</p><p> It worked for him and Lawrenceand everyone ever since has floundered, just like the poor creatures in that goldfish bowl.</p><p> The Theater Season 2011-2012 (on a four star scale)The Agony And The Ecstasy Of Steve Jobs ** 1/2 All-American ** All's Well That Ends Well/Shakespeare in the Park ** The Atmosphere Of Memory 1/2 * Broadway By The Year: 1997 ** 1/2 Chinglish * 1/2 Crane Story ** MOST POPULAR ON HUFFPOST 1 of 2 Fox News Viewers Know Less Than People Who Watch No News: Study Loyal Dog Refuses To Leave Owner's Grave, Goes Week Without Food Charlie Angus What if They Declared an Emergency and No One Came? Kris Humphries: Husband From Hell? Kirstie Alley Looking Good Bourbon Distillery To Obama: 'Give Us The Bird' Jenny From The Block's Fiat Commercial A Sham Justin Takes Paternity Test, Then Serenades Selena Jack Wagner Confronted By Long Lost Daughter DON'T MISS HUFFPOST BLOGGERS 1 of 5 Dr.</p><p> Peggy Drexler We Can Be Thankful for EachFOLLOW US17 Funny Thanksgiving QuotesPHOTOS: Amazing Shots Of Thanksgiving Day...</p><p> Too Much Makeup? PHOTOS: Sasha And Malia Are All Grown Up! Like 310K Like 39K Like 41K Recommend 747 Like 192 Like 162 Like 3K Recommend 597 Like 181Cymbeline at Barrow Street Theatre *** Follies *** 1/2 Fragments *** Godspell ** 1/2 Hair *** Hand To God *** Hero: The Musical * 1/2 Hugh Jackman: Back On Broadway *** King Lear at Public with Sam Waterston ** Lake Water ** Love's Labor's Lost at the PublicLab ** 1/2 Man And Boy * 1/2 Master Class w Tyne Daly ** 1/2 Measure For Measure/Shakespeare in the Park *** Milk Like Sugar *** The Mountaintop ** 1/2 Newsies ** Pigpen's The Nightmare Story *** 1/2 Olive and The Bitter Herbs ** 1/2 One Arm *** Other Desert Cities on Broadway ** 1/2 Private Lives ** Queen Of The Mist ** 1/2 Radio City Christmas Spectacular ** 1/2 Relatively Speaking * 1/2 The Select (The Sun Also Rises) ** 1/2 Septimus & Clarissa *** 1/2 Silence! The Musical * 1/2 69 Degrees South * 1/2 Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark * 1/2 Standing On Ceremony: The Gay Marriage Plays ** The Submission ** Sweet and Sad ** Unnatural Acts *** Venus In Fur *** We Live Here ** Zarkana ** NEW YORK MUSICAL THEATRE FESTIVAL 2011 Blanche: The Bittersweet Life Of A Wild Prairie Dame *** 1/2 Central Avenue Breakdown ** 1/2 Crazy, Just Like Me *** Cyclops: A Rock Opera * Ennio: The Living Paper Cartoon ** 1/2 F---ing Hipsters ** Ghostlight ** Gotta Getta Girl ** 1/2 for staged reading Greenwood * Jack Perry Is Alive (And Dating) * 1/2 Kiki Baby ** 1/2 Kissless * 1/2 Madame X ** The Pigeon Boys *** Time Between Us * 1/2 Tut ** FRINGEFEST NYC 2011Araby * The Bardy Bunch ** Other Dylan Ratigan This Thanksgiving, Occupy Yourself TOP VIDEO PICKS 1 of 9 More Entertainment News at THR.com More Celebrity News at People.com'G.I.</p><p> Joe' Sequel Crew Member Dies On Set Jennifer Lopez's Love For Bodysuits (Photos) Cameron Crowe Reveals How HeSeduced Matt Damon For 'We Bought A Zoo'; Names His 5 FavoriteMovies Miss Piggy KeepsPaparazzi at Bay by Tossing Cupcakes READ MORE Melanie Amaro Reveals Her 'True Self' on X Factor READ MORE Tiffani Thiessen: We Have'Built In' Babysitters READ MORE Justin Bieber Rocks Rockefeller Plaza With Usher Lady Gaga Closes the Show on 'I Heart Radio'TOP LINKS ON THIS TOPIC 1 of 4 Broadway Review: Private Lives | California Literary Review AP News: Broadway's 'Private Lives' is 'big romantic stuff' NY1 Theater Review: "Private Lives" - NY1.comBooks On Tape ** 1/2 Civilian ** Hard Travelin' With Woody *** Leonard Cohen Koans *** 1/2 The More Loving One ** The Mountain Song *** 1/2 Paper Cuts *** Parker & Dizzy's Fabulous Journey To The End Of The Rainbow ** 1/2 Pearl's Gone Blue *** Rachel Calof ** 1/2 Romeo & Juliet: Choose Your Own Ending ** 2 Burn * 1/2 Walls and Bridges ** What The Sparrow Said ** 1/2 Yeast Nation *** Thanks for reading.</p><p> Michael Giltz is the cohost of Showbiz Sandbox, a weekly pop culture podcast that reveals the industry take on entertainment news of the day and features top journalists and opinion makers as guests.</p><p> It's available for free on iTunes.</p><p> Visit Michael Giltz at his website and his daily blog.</p><p> Download his podcast of celebrity interviews and his radio show, also called Popsurfing and alsoavailable for free on iTunes.</p><p> Link to him on Netflix and gain access to thousands of ratings and reviews.</p><p> Note : Michael Giltz was provided with free tickets to this show with the understanding that he would be writing a review.</p><p> Follow Michael Giltz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/michaelgiltz Buy a link here Sponsored Links 57-Year-Old Mom Looks 25 Her clever $6 Wrinkle Therapy Angers Botox Doctors. www.iconsumerknowledge.com New Trick in TENNESSEE If you drive 25 mi/day or less you better read this...</p><p> Insurance.Comparisons.org Help feed a local senior This holiday season donate $10 to feed a senior in your community. www.givelocal.drivetoendhunger.org Travel Guard© Insurance 20+ Years of Travel Experience! Coverage Starting at $30. www.TravelGuard.com More in Entertainment...MOST DISCUSSED RIGHT NOW 1of 2 HOT ON FACEBOOK 1 of 3 HOT ON TWITTER 1of 2 HUFFPOST'S BIG NEWS PAGES Buy a link here Sponsored Links 57-Year-Old Mom Looks 25 Her clever $6 Wrinkle Therapy Angers Botox Doctors. www.iconsumerknowledge.com New Trick in TENNESSEE If you drive 25 mi/day or less you better read this...</p><p> Insurance.Comparisons.org Help feed a local senior This holiday season donate $10 to feed a senior in your community. www.givelocal.drivetoendhunger.org keithcouchace http://t.co/8rc7rVtm Broadway Review : Private Lives - California Literary Review 10 hours ago from web Broadway_Blog http://t.co/xYbNVv6y : <b> Broadway </b> Review : Private Lives : by Ethan Kanfer New York… http://t.co/UHOL3LO6 11 hours ago from Google Kim Kardashian and Celebs Feed Homeless The Greatest Guitar Player Of All Time Revealed! Robert Wagner: Murder Suspect On TV Tonight The Smartest Show On TV Proves It With Secret Scene Like 946 A 'Pete & Pete' Reunion! Cast And Creators Reunite For The First Time Like 5K theellenshow RetweetI'm so thankful for @MarloThomas and Jennifer Aniston and theincredible work they do for children.</p><p> You can help them. http://t.co/8e6dE micaelsilva RetweetFox News Viewers Know Less ThanPeople Who Don't Watch Any News: Study http://t.co/QL8AVm9xJimi Hendrix Named Greatest Guitarist Of All...</p><p> Robert Wagner: Murder Suspect On 'NCIS' Roots Welcome Bachmann With 'Lyin' As* B*tch'... 'Pete & Pete' Reunion: Cast, Creative Crew...</p><p> Thanksgiving NHS Android X Factor Autumn Statement Health News Immigration Beauty Fashion MORE BIG NEWS PAGES » ENTERTAINMENT CELEBRITY MEDIA COMEDY MUSIC TV CELEBRITY KIDS MOVIEFONE Advertise | Log In | Make HuffPost your Home Page | RSS | Careers | FAQ User Agreement | Privacy | Comment Policy | About Us | About Our Ads | Contact Us Copyright © 2011 TheHuffingtonPost.com, Inc. | "The Huffington Post" is a registered trademark of TheHuffingtonPost.com, Inc.</p><p> All rights reserved.</p><p> Part of HuffPost News FRONT PAGE POLITICS BUSINESS ENTERTAINMENT TECH MEDIA LIFE & STYLE CULTURE COMEDY HEALTHY LIVING WOMEN LOCAL MORE